Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
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