now i know why i became what i already was.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Randomize
