I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize