she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
