oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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