I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
