You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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