We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
