Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
