Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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