Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
How many fucks given?
0.12846
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
