I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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