i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
