Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
