I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
