what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
