ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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