This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
