My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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