Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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