He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
