I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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