Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
