So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
