Buhtt sex?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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