the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
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