he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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