On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
if only i could text you this smell
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
