If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
