I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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