you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
