I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
