; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
