he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
