I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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