It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
nutella sex= disaster
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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