In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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