My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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