Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
