I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize