Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
