how hairy? two words: wookie tits
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
