I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
