it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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