I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
