Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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