i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
