yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
All I want is dick and wine.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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