my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
