She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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