I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
