Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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