is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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