it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
