I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
