woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize