Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
