I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize