Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
