I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Pants 0. Shit 1.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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