i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
